An Affirmation.

af·fir·ma·tion  (fr-mshn)

n.

1. The act of affirming or the state of being affirmed; assertion.

2. Something declared to be true; a positive statement or judgment.

3. Law A solemn declaration given in place of a sworn statement by a person who conscientiously objects to taking an oath.

This morning, as the kids were entering the school and I had already given kisses and hugs and wished my son a good day, I thought I'd better say to him what I say nearly every day "Have fun and don't get sent to the Principal's office!" He probably didn't hear me, but a parent standing next to me did. She turned to me with a slight smile and said, something about maybe trying to not say anything negative. She doesn't know me well, so she doesn't realize that this has been the running joke between my son and I since he started preschool.  

I turned to her and I said "I don't worry, he is possibly the best student in his classroom, and has never been sent to the principals office". She smiled and said "I didn't think he was the type". 

As we turned and continued to our respective vehicles she continued the conversation with "I talked to him on the play ground one day you know".

Me: "oh, really?"

She:. "Yes, he is an very beautiful child, he is so aware and in tune with the world around him."

She them grabbed my arm just for a seconds, but looked me in the eye, and said "You must be doing something right with him".

My heart skipped a beat and I said "I don't think it is just me, he was born that way, and I just nurture some of those traits he came with, but from the day I brought him home from the hospital, he has been highly aware".

"He is a very special boy, maybe even an indigo child, he will do something amazing, he will change the world" She said. I looked at her once more and replied "We need that don't we, specially now".

I think that has been one of the most profound and maybe prophetic conversations I have had with anyone about my son. I knew he was special from the minute I knew I was pregnant (7 days after conception?), and something inside me said guard this baby with your life. I don't know what his future holds, or why he was born from me, but I do know that I am not the only one who sees the potential. That makes me smile.

Peace and love,

Viviana

WHY?? Yes, this is a rant post.

I will start this one by letting you all know this may not turn out to be a pretty post.

Today, when I walked across the football field to pick up my son from school, I saw something that almost made me scream out in horror; A teacher was bent down tying a child's shoelace. Now I am not saying teachers shouldn't help, however when a child is in grade 3/4?? Should he not have a minimal skill such as tying his own shoe mastered already? WTF is this world coming to when parents are such lazy a$$es that they cannot take the 30 minutes out of their lives it takes to teach a child of 8 or 9 to TIE HIS FREAKIN' SHOE?????

I am horrified at how few skills (considered basic learning) kids don't have at that age, I am not talking about your special needs child, or a child with a learning disability, I'm strictly speaking of your average intelligence child, who can achieve many great things when given the skills, that's all. We as are bringing up a nation of useless, skilless, underachieving children and we are not ashamed yet?? No wonder kids nowadays can do a perfect pirouette for ballet, wear the latest Roxy shoes and designer jeans, have parents that drive BMW's and Cadillacs, yet they cannot even tie their own shoelaces????
This type of parenting does not do your child any service. How hard is it to take the time to teach them a basic skill? It took us a couple of weeks to teach my son, he was 4 at the time. I taught another child in 30 minutes, because she was almost 7, she caught on much faster.
People need to stop treating kids like they are too dumb to learn, or hire someone to take the time to do the job. No wonder north America is failing as a whole. A society increasing in under educated individuals, because nobody takes the time to feed the beautiful minds of children. Children are like sponges, it is a saying everybody knows, they are not dumb, they are extremely capable. Take away the DS/Wii/Computer for 30 minutes each day, teach them skills such as taking turns, patience, simple math, conversation skills, manners, tying a bow on your shoe, and by doing all these things you are not only giving your kids basic life skills, you are giving them a foundation and even greater, you are showing them how much you love and care about them and their future.

I am not the best parent out there, and sometimes I fall back on parenting skills I picked up from my own parents, however, I refuse to think that my son is any less a intelligent human than I was. He has learned many skills that may seem ridiculous to teach a child of 7... he can sew a button, not greatly, but he'll never have to ask anyone else to do it for him. He can tie a good couple of knots and tie his shoes, he can swim (a work in progress), he can ride a bike and a scooter, he can read (he's on the 8th book of "The 39 Clues"), he can add and subtract, we play Yahtzee, the Game of Life, Stratego, and I'm learning to play Chess alongside him. I try to learn if I don't know, and if he asks I am honest and look stuff up for him or with him.
He is reading this post as I type, and he just announced that him and one other boy are the only ones in his grade one class that know how to tie their shoes. Dismal!!

He tied his own shoes last spring for NSD Basketball!!

So there you have it, My rant of the week. Yes, it may sound opinionated, but someone has to speak up for capable children.... I guess my next project will be a tutorial on shoe tying, I want to make it my mission to show parents how easy it actually is, and yes, practice does make perfect, just ask my son David!

I will never underestimate my son's ability to learn!

Cheers and have a great Father's day,
Viviana

If I can say "Yes", then I will

That is how I parent. I love being a mom that doesn't sweat the small stuff, and in turn my son loves being a child that is free to develop in an environment where he is loved and cared for and can have a boundless imagination. There has been many times where I am about to say "NO, you cannot wear that costume out to dinner". Then the little voice in my head asks me "Why can't he? who is he hurting? why are you squashing his fun?" Whenever that little voice pops up, I tend to stop, listen and then act. A few months ago, we were invited to a dress-up dinner with some friends, he dressed up as Iron Man and I wore my best black cocktail dress..... he got the high fives and "ohhhs" and "ahhhs", such a smart lad! Why am I sharing this? Because my son is the proud wearer of "dreadies" or better know as dreadlocked hair and it was me who made it possible.

Life is Good!

He has been growing his hair out since before the summer because he told me he wanted dreads like his friend Zion (who is mulato, has beautiful long dreadies, and is in grade 3) who is 2 years older than him. So we stopped going for haircuts every 8 weeks, and I trimmed his bangs just enough to keep his eyes from being poked. At first I thought he might change his mind, but he kept checking how long his hair was and weather it was long enough yet. A few weeks before Christmas break, I started researching the cost etc, and decided to buy a kit for us to do it ourselves, the cost was too much at a hairstylist. The kit arrived the day before the break started so we decided that he would have his picture with Santa before the dreadies, as per his Dad's request.

This is a few hours before....

The process took close to 12 hours, with a few breaks in between...it hurts just a little bit, all the teasing, rolling, pinching, elastics, etc!! Anyhow, once we were done, he was beaming with pride.

Later that day!

I know that a lot of parents would be dead set against such a drastic hairstyle for their child (specially one with fine, straight hair) because of the look, the stigma that comes with dreadheads. I however, have seen it as a lesson, not for him though, for myself. As a parent, I would rather have him go through the experience of having "dreadies" now, than when he's 16 and let's say, trying to land a job.
Right now, I can still help him keep the hair neat and free of lint, we wash it every 2-3 days, so it's always clean (contrary to popular belief, hair has to be clean to stay locked, dirty greasy hair unlocks on straight hair) and keep it crocheted well so they will always look great! It is a lot of work for me, but it has taught me to be patient with him. There are days when I feel like a probst monkey, picking bugs...but it's worth it. He looks and feels great, he loves his dreadies!

Two weeks so far, looking good!

So I did sweat it physically, and my elbows hurt the next day, but why say no to such a interesting request? Even his Dad didn't see why not. In the end, his self esteem is intact and we have expanded our view on the world (through all my research on dreadlocks) just a little bit more.
There will be worse things I will have to deny him, but this is just not one of them.

Well, Happy New Year

Viviana